Little known fact: You don’t sleep in college. It just doesn’t happen.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
1Cor13:4-8

Hey friends.
Life here in Starkville is good. Classes are all right. It’s starting to occur to me that achieving a 4.0 requires more effort than I’m willing to put forth. Sad, but true. I love campus ministries thus far and EYC has been interesting. I’m now doing church choir (don’t laugh because I’m stoked about it!) I sort of joined a co-ed ultimate team in which there are only 4 girls rostered… which means we have to play the whole time. I did a sweet dive in our last game that scored a hand up from a dreamy guy on the other team. He said we could be friends. So even though I didn’t catch the frisbee, my efforts weren’t in vain. Ha… pardon my silliness. In other news… I’m leaving for D.C. Wednesday. I love it there. The atmosphere of the city excites me. I wish campus had a metro system… sigh. Want to know something embarrassing? I pulled a muscle in my back. WHAT?? I’m 18 years old and my back went out. Ashley laughed at me and called me grandma when I asked her to pick up my pen that was a foot away from me. I feel so old. I wasn’t even doing anything cool when it happened. OH! Big news– I’m going to INDIA next summer! I cannot wait. I already want to pack my bags. I want to play with kids that have no earthy parents; I want to touch the untouchable; I want to show the lowest of the low that we are equal; I want women to know that they are beautiful and worthy of being treated right; I want people to know Jesus and the love and redemption that He offers. Whoa, I’ve got a long way to go, but my heart yearns to be in that place. So your prayers and thoughts are widely accepted. Donations are also welcome

I love you all.
He loves you more.
Be good or be good at it,
Kelsey

Hey, if you haven’t watched THE video, please do… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D0555EtAZ4

Anyways– college is still going well. I finished my paper early, and it seemed satisfactory, and by that I mean Emily said it was good. I’m going to talk to my professor (Hilarious Swank) tomorrow and see what she has to say about it. I have a quiz and a test tomorrow and then another test on Thursday. I studied a good bit today and I’ll probably be studying the majority of tomorrow as well. But enough about school work. I’ve been a thinkin’ lately… I don’t know where lately began, but probably when we started our Bible study this past Thursday… I’ve become very cynical. I think that’s the right word to use. I’m very analytical of what people say or do and it’s a habit that I want to break. For example, there are a lot of cliches thrown around and used completely out of context, and though I wish people would filter their thoughts before speaking, I wish even harder that I wouldn’t care or that it wouldn’t bother me. One example that really grabs and convicts me, is when I get annoyed by something I think isn’t right, but how do I know the person’s intention? What if their intention is to please God? But what is right to me/society and what’s right with God are two very different things, excluding murder and the like. An example for me personally is hearing someone singing pure worship and thinking it sounds absolutely awful, but then I think “Does God hear this the way I do?” No, He hears the pure intention behind the voice which is way more beautiful than the voice itself. If Celion Dion sang “Lead Me to the Cross” just for the crowd’s listening pleasure and had no real intention of worshipping God, he would hear tires screeching and nails on a chalk board. Whoa, 1 Corinthians 13:1. Not where I was planning on taking this, but that’s where it got taken. Maybe that’s a call to look deeper than just at the surface of things, a call to let little things go and look at the big picture, a call to love people and not be so annoyed by their quirks, a call to be less cynical, analytical, politcally correct. No one is perfect, but if we’re reaching for perfection in the Right direction, then our hearts should be analyzed and not our faults. I think I’ve made this full circle. It works in my head, at least.
I should go to sleep. It’s 2 a.m.
so…
be good or be good at it.
Love. never fails.
Kelsey

Well hello again, faithful readers… (crickets chirping)
So, college… sorry, that’s a very vague and general topic, but it’s probably the biggest (and most expensive) deal in my life right now. Where do I begin to catch you all (yes ALL of you) up? Hmmm… well, I’ve been here for nearly a month. Our dorm isn’t much different from a hotel room, so I’ve nothing to complain about in that department… well except that I’m right by the AC and my hands get really cold when I type too long (such as now). Maybe I’ll invest in some mittens.. ha.. I just realized that that wouldn’t work out too well. Gloves, however, should do the trick. Classes seem relatively easy, though I’m still trying to get the hang of on-line homework. I guess it’s saving paper…? My chemistry professor is a British bloke, my calculus teacher says “alg-e-ber”, and my honors english comp professor looks like Hilary Swank and is very funny… Hilarious Swank?… thanks, I’ll be here all night. I have a four page paper due in a week that I’m mildly concerned about, but I’d rather not think about it now. Let’s see, I’ve gone to the Wesley Foundation a bunch. I like it there a lot, great folks, worship, good messages, free food… I’m not really a bum, I’m just poor. Anyways– I’m trying to get involved and still stay afloat academically… I wish I could join the amateur radio club (”whiskey five yankee delta… over”) but I’m not sure if I’ll have the time for that and anime club (HAHA). I’m sorry if you’re subject to my humor… I miss a few people, but ultimately I’m super glad to have moved out of Clinton. My dad came up this weekend and he read me to sleep… ah, reminds me of the good ole days, when college was a lifetime away and all that mattered were Barney reruns. Don’t tease me about my shows. Speaking of… Fringe looks AMAZING. And I’m still down for watching Alias at any time. Just let me know.

Ohkay… I hope you enjoi-ed this.
Yes, you plural.

I like you a whole lot and I love you a whole lot more,
Kelsey

“All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see His face
In the morning in the window

All the glory when He took our place
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face
And He takes and He takes and He takes”

Oh, green eyed, banjo man, marry me now, please?

I feel like home is in field somewhere… a beautiful field at sunset, the heather a golden purple in the sun’s falling light. I’m that girl twirling in circles, loosely holding the hems of her ivory dress, reveling with the happy clouds. All the beauty that the night holds arrives as soon as the crimson sun disappears beyond the horizon, so far away; not to worry, it will return with the dawn. The starry diamonds selectively place themselves amongst the blackness, sparkling for the goodness of the universe. I marvel in their direction and feel my heart overflow– is it mutual? The night’s breeze sways my heather home and lulls me to sleep under the twinkling stars; i dream of reality.

The last couple of days have been chaotic– not in a world catastrophe kind of way, but in a high-heart rate, blurred memory kind of way. It’s 4 something Thursday morning, but my thoughts are burried deep in the weeks events. Life can be messy. Decisions can be difficult. I told a friend a few days ago (or was it hours?) that I wish I would be handed the answers. Guess I’ll have to take a number and get in line, eh? Sigh. I’m tired of that. I’m ready to be normal. Well, not normal, but myself– quirky, happy . I enjoy spending time with my friends almost more than anything these days. I love the talking, the traveling, the giggling, the dancing. But what about the silence? What about prayer? Where has that gone? I need some down time. I need to chill with the wind, the breeze, the sun; we’ve got some catching up to do. Maybe sleep’ll do for now.

I mean, I’m excited about it…

“Do you feel hollow when you think of how I’ve lied? And Oh, Sweet Angel of Mercy, with your grace like the morning, wrap your loving arms around me.”

Forgiveness– sigh…this has been the most difficult thing for me to grasp as of late.

I compare myself to the unmerciful servant in the parable in Matthew 18.
A servant was brought before his king, owing a lot of money. He asked the king to have patience with him and he would pay back what he owed, and the king had pity on him and canceled all his debts. The servant left and met up with another servant who owed him some cash money. The second servant then pleaded with the first asking him to have patience until he could pay off his debts. Instead of extending the same mercy and kindness that the king had, the first servant demanded that he be paid back immediately. The king heard about this and said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”

I feel like I have a lot of things to overcome– feeling wronged, feeling betrayed, etc. Sometimes I have to look at the big pic and see that God feels that way most of the time, if not always. But instead of acting in anger, He extends His unfailing mercy, His love. I want to be able to act as My King does. He’s not bitter, He’s gracious and compassionate on the undeserving.

“Hey, Unfaithful, I will teach you to be stronger. Hey, Ungraceful, I will teach you to forgive one another. Hey, Unloving, I will love you.”